I want to get a divorce but I don’t know where my husband is

I meet a lot of folks who have been married, but have not been living together for quite some time.   For some people, this can amount to years or even decades being separated.  So what do you do if you decide that you want to get a divorce from your spouse when you don’t know where he lives?  What if, for example, you married in 2004, but haven’t lived with your spouse since 2009?  And, what if you heard that your spouse now lives in Mexico and you have no idea where?  This issue comes up early enough in the intake process that I thought I’d provide a hypothetical to run through this situation since it comes up often enough.  Let’s assume Mary was married on March 4, 20024 to Ricardo Ruiz in Dallas, Texas.  The relationship between Mary and Ricardo went along until on the way back from a particularly uncomfortable Christmas family event with Ricardo’s parents.  Ricardo’s parents got upset at Mary and before they knew it, one thing let to another, and Mary and Ricardo are fighting on the way home.  Words between them escalate until one of them takes it too far.  The couple separate and Ricardo moves back to Frisco to live with his old roommate.  Meanwhile, Mary continues to rent the apartment they previously shared.  Time goes on and Ricardo decides to move to Europe.  Both Mary and Ricardo lose track of each other.  Mary heard about common law divorce in Texas and thinks maybe that’s what she’s got?  The parties continue on separated from each other until Mary decides that she wants to buy a house in May of 2025.  While closing for her new house, Mary finds out that her husband has to sign off on the closing documents.  Mary panics and calls an attorney to see if she can get a divorce.

What she finds out from the attorney is not what she expected.  First off, the lawyer tells her that there is no such thing as common law divorce in Texas.  The only way to get divorced is to go through the legal process.  Mary then finds out that she needs to her husband served, but she tells the attorney, “I don’t know where he lives.”  The lawyer then explains the process of serving someone.  She must first attempt to serve him 3 times and then afterwards she can move for service by mail.  If she doesn’t have an actual physical address of her husband, she might be able to serve him by email, and in some limited circumstances, serve by Facebook.  Unfortunately, Mary doesn’t know his email address and can’t even remember what Ricardo looks like to find him on Facebook.  The lawyer then explains that if you can’t serve by mail or normal service or an alternate means, she must file a motion to serve Ricardo by publication.  Then the lawyer tells her that the price to run an advertisement in a publication can amount to thousands of dollars and that he won’t file a motion for publication without a retainer of at least $5,000 for just the service of publication.  She can’t believe what she is hearing.  What is Mary to do?  Well if she wants divorced, she’s going to have to find a way to satisfy the court’s requirement that her husband gets served and that means either doing personal service, service by alternate means such as U.S. mail, or service by publication.  All three add to the cost of a cast and turn a simple $3,500 divorce case into five figures.

There are tools available to lawyers that can aid in finding the whereabouts of Ricardo.  For example, a strip search can be ran on Ricardo to attempt to find his whereabouts.  If Mary knows Ricardo’s SSN number that would help greatly in trying to locate him.  Mary needs to go through all reasonable steps she can to first try and locate Ricardo and attempt to get him served before asking the judge to authorize some alternate means of service, this is true in any case, but it when it involves children, the court will be even less inclined.  If you are trying to get a divorce and don’t know where your spouse is, contact our law office to schedule an appointment to see how we can help get your life moving forward by getting your husband served.